Lose to the Idle Wind
by rain-bird
Summary: She sat in the branches of the willow tree as the wind blew. What would happen when it became idle? A Cedric/Cho piece; one shot.


  
  
  


**Lose to the Idle Wind**  
~ Rain-Bird

  
  
  
I was sorry to ever say "good bye." You were always here, by my side, yet I cried. Let alone, you always came. At Quidditch games, you smiled at me every time. I thought you were just the same as they, liked me for being fair. Then I finally noticed your cries. You're not quite like anyone else I've met through my years; you asked, yet I denied. Could it have been that I didn't understand? I was losing my world, and you were losing yours; I don't remember why I said, "no." We were so naïve.  
  
I didn't let you know, I did really care. I now know it was too wrong of me. And still, you embraced me afterwards. You were the first and last to know. The warmth of your heart reached me through the cold November air. Their eyes seemed to look upon us, but you didn't care, it was what made you whole. I was scared. I was shocked. I thought your crush was petty and small, yet you wanted me to be in your life. My thoughts seemed to melt through your arms. It wasn't quite love.  
  
My friends pushed me through; they said you were perfect in every way. Maybe now, I'll admit it. Even now, and back then, perfect you were. Sure, you were popular, but you were polite, you were considerate, you were smart. You seemed to always look forward. Nothing could stand in your way... except me. I didn't want it to happen, but maybe I slipped in my efforts.  
  
I left you with one last hug; I left you with a smile. Perhaps you know why I did so. Perhaps you were perfect with empathy. I was sorry, and I told you so. Then when I left, it was a miserable sight to see. We looked back at each other with tears in our eyes. I should have run back, but I didn't. I regret not doing so...  
  
The train sped away as I hid from you with my parched eyes looking out the window. The green scene was a blur, just as we were. I wished you had stayed away, but you sat beside me, anyways. "Perhaps we can still be friends...like before." It was all I could say; it was all I could do; I couldn't even turn to face you.  
  
"Then we'll just be friends," you told me. I saw your reflection on the windowpane. It wore the kind smile always found on your face. I laid my head on your shoulder, still not daring to look you in the eye. I faced only forward at the empty chairs. "Want to come over sometime?" you asked out of nowhere, "just as friends?"  
  
"Just as always..." I smiled. I don't know why I ever thought you were jesting. I was too used to it all. I was prized as a seeker. I was prized as a scholar. I was prized as the girl with a pretty face. I was never prized as one with a great personality, until it came to you. I wanted to say more, but only added, "...for old time sakes."  
  
"I'll owl you soon, then," you told me as the train came slowly to a stop. We left the small compartment, leaving nothing behind. I saw your father wave at us. "Good bye for now." You never wanted to leave pernamently, only for a short while. Your footsteps faded lightly as you reached your them; they asked how everything was. "Alright, I guess." They asked what was wrong this time. I knew before you spoke a single word. "Cho broke up with me. I guess it was something I did..." You weren't the cause of anything; don't blame yourself.  
  
I walked through the crowd and left with my own parents. They asked, but I didn't tell them anything was wrong. It wasn't fine then; it wasn't fine when I got home. I set all my belongings I had taken to school with me in the kitchen and headed straight to my room. I didn't want to talk to anyone; I didn't want to look at the pictures of you and I on the wall, but I didn't want to take them down, either.  
  
As I came down to breakfast one Friday morning, an owl flew in as always. He left a single manilla envelope on the grey marble counter. "Who's it for?" I asked my mother. I didn't think it was for me; I rarely ever got post, but I could've been wrong.  
  
She didn't know. "The only thing on it is Chang." She opened it; she wondered the same thing as I. My mother laughed as she scanned the parchment within the envelope. "_Can little Cho come out and play for the week? Love, Cedric,_" she read. "Does she want to?" I smiled; you always humored me. "I'll send him a reply."  
  
The next day, I flew over the country side. The skies smelled of fruits as I descended to your front steps. You were waiting for me. Sometimes, I hated the way you would do so, yet it was to you that you saw me in. "Hi," you said. I would never get sick of hearing you say that. Maybe I would someday, but not that day; not that week; not that month; not that year; maybe not the next.  
  
Days passed by since the first. We did everything we used to do. We played Quidditch; we talked; we fell asleep on each others' shoulders sitting on your scarlet-coloured couch. It was as if yesterday never ended. I didn't want today to end either; it did, but when it did, you left me with something to remember...  
  
I hadn't thought you would. It shocked me, just as you had before, but that was only a hug. This was something different. You had kissed me lightly on the lips. Was your world rebourn? Was mine as well? Then it was your mother we saw. You jumped to your feet. "Mum! I was..." I watched silently as you turned bright red. She had flushed the same shade of scarlet also. She left, leaving us alone, again. I hated you; I hated you for no reason..."See you at the World Cup, I guess..." you mumbled nervously as we said our farewells, arms around each other.  
  
I saw you next at the Irish end of the stadium. I hugged you as you told me that same word. I wondered who we were fooling; don't state the obvious; you didn't, instead you said, "I heard you were made a Prefect," you smiled. I smiled back at you. "It's been awhile...Come on, I'll show you to our seats." You were always such a gentleman, perfect in every way.  
  
As a family was risen into the dark sky, you told me to go to the woods. I asked you where you were going. But you never responded; if you had, all the noise had drowned your voice. I did as you told me. So again, I was scared of what would happen to you. You were okay in the end, only a little hurt; I was okay.  
  
Then it seemed as if you were too busy; your House friends were always around you. You were always courteous. You wouldn't just leave them, so I just stayed by your side. With the tournament and all, I thought maybe, you didn't love me anymore. That I didn't matter. But when you first heard of the ball, you came straight to me and asked yet again. This time, I didn't deny your request. We're not so naïve anymore. You know that.  
  
As I prepared that night, I looked at the mirror wondering if you were doing the same. It was strange to be taken by you. It was strange that Harry had asked as well. I was flattered...but you meant much more to me. I kept it all in mind as I walked down to meet you. "You look beautiful..." he flushed light pink. Is life just a fairy tale? It certainly seemed so to me; did it to you?  
  
I nervously joined you in a dance in front of the other students. Quidditch was one thing, dancing was another. I thought it would go on forever. You seemed to notice my awkwardness and leaned closer, reassuring me. I sighed softly, waiting, and waiting, until it finally ended. "Err...would you like something to drink? Punch?" you asked.  
  
"Sure," I replied, and I watched you leave. Dancing next to you was Viktor Krum and Hermione Granger. I wondered if anyone was like us here. We had something; we had something special. As you came back, I asked you about your egg. You told me that they would take something very dear to you; you told me that dear something was me.  
  
We resumed dancing again. I saw Harry looking at us. I saw him looking at you with jealousy. I knew he was like the rest. He liked me for the way I looked. But all I could think about was you; everything ended up to you. Was it how you felt about me? "Want to go outside?"  
  
"Sure," I said to you again. I followed you out from the crowd of dancers. We lingered around the school grounds. Then I told you I was sorry, and you asked why; you told me I had nothing to be sorry about, but it wasn't the truth. "I'm just sorry for leaving you without telling you why last year. I didn't want to be in the way of your life, that's all."  
  
You didn't say anything, only held me tightly. Nothing would have torn us apart; nothing except a professor. We did as we were told. The ball was almost over; the night had been a breeze; I hoped this was one breeze you didn't love. You told me you wanted to speak with Harry. I waited at the entrance for you. I heard what you said; I knew you were excited and nervous at the same exact time. I waited as you said good bye to him.  
  
You held me by my hand as you escorted me to my House. I knew you would as you kissed me good night. "See you tomorrow," I said and smiled. They ridiculed to me about what happened this night, but I didn't mind; you didn't. I hope you remembered it, as I always will.  
  
I didn't remember what happened while I was underwater, so I asked you to be sure to tell me everything under all my soaked raven curls. I listened to you carefully, as to not miss a word. I smiled when you finished. We went to hear the scores; you were tied. You said you should have saved the rest. You said you should have been like Harry; I don't want you to be Harry, just Cedric.  
  
Your days were restless. All you talked about was the last task. I knew it meant a lot to you; I knew you wanted to win, but when I heard your voice yelling, screaming, I thought maybe you should have concentrated on other things, anything else. I saw sparks fly up, but I hoped it wasn't yours. I wanted you to win; I didn't want to stand in your way, again.  
  
It had been over half an hour, and I was worried about you. I sat and waited. Then I heard... "Cedric Diggory! _Dead!_ " I ran down, just as your parents did, just as all the girls did. They were screaming, but I was silent. I didn't want to believe it. Maybe I should have just let it go. Your father was comforting your mother. I — was lost; you — were gone.  
  
At the feast, Dumbledore told about you. He said you were good; he said you were kind; he said you were brave. But to me, only to me, you were perfect. My tears for you were endless. They were silent as you. They were as true as you.  
  
Even now, my parched eyes want to cry. Your storm-grey eyes now closed. You seemed like no Cedric I knew. Your soul elsewhere, your body here. You, who should have gone home on the train again; you, who should have lived; you, who died and shouldn't have. I sighed heavily as he told us about you. I knew you inside and out; I didn't need to hear him; I just sat there, wondering.  
  
At last, I couldn't stand his drawling anymore. I left; I knew I shouldn't have. It wasn't what you would have done, but I couldn't stand him. He knew nothing about you. I went inside your house; your warmth was missing. I climbed the stairs; your footsteps were missing. I stepped inside your room; your crisp scent was missing. I sat on the couch where we shared our first kiss; you were missing...  
  
I sat there crying, wondering why there was death; I sat there living, how you should be too; I sat there thinking, about you; I sat there, when your mother brought me out into a courtyard. I remembered the place. We walked around it once, when we were so young; we had climbed the willow tree.  
  
Now, I climbed the tree. I sat where we used to sit, only alone and in silence. There was a breeze I hadn't noticed earlier; you loved windy days. So for just an hour, I sat here, trying to remember you perfectly. You're like a puzzle, waiting to be put back together. I suppose it was easier to do here and now. I thought the wind seemed to be helping; it reminded me of you. Maybe if it stopped, I would stop and forget...  
  
Does a memory end when wind is idle? You didn't...  
  
  
  
  


**Disclaimer & Author's Notes**

  
  
All Harry Potter characters and situations mentioned were created and are owned by JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. In short? Don't sue.  
  
Much thanks to my superb (and picky) beta reader, Jenny, along with everyone who read it before I sent it off. This one shot fic was written for a bit of a brain teaser. I promise I'll get to work on DT^^; if you didn't like it, don't flame me...   
  



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